Ironically it is also one topic on which I have conducted quite a few trainings and yet when it comes to the practical implementation I find myself trying not to take the bait.

Our behaviour is quite like a leach. We like to stick on to things even when its time to move on cos we like to stick on.. or we want it that ways … aah reminds me of the old backstreet boys song.

Allright lets not regress from the topic at hand.

Its quite true that we humans have a tendency of liking status quo. Happy to be where we are or even when we are not, its too much of an effort to make that change.

Few things that are on my pending list which are slowly calling for change:

To be honest I think I am scared about the aftermath of bringing about any change in the aforesaid areas. Specially the first one. Having to prove your worth once again, to build rapport with new colleagues, struggling to settle in… i can give you enough and more reasons to justify my stance. But the truth remains… Its time to move on !

Now thats news to me !

I ventured out for the first time, all by myself to buy a reliance connection, only to be duped or rather misled by the representative into recharging for a scheme that made my primary scheme lapse. Total loss – more than 500 bucks.

And I am not even planning to discuss the pain of waiting for an hour even when I was the first customer in the damn queue. Call to hubby – “I hate mumbai”. It was after an hour long bickering and 22 hr wait that the scheme was revived, but I still lost 100 bucks.

My foray in the new city led me to go grocery shopping, my second best past time post sleeping. Godrej’s Nature Fresh is just around the corner, and the name and excess hours at hand lured me into the store. I assure you I had nothing to do with it. Awesome brands, a few that I know of and a lot that I had never heard of. A few fruits and vegetables and my bill was close to a thousand bucks. Boy ! Did I do some grocery shopping!!

I assumed it normal going by my past experience at Hypercity which scares me to death each time I try and recall it. No, Dont even bother to ask, cos I aint sharing. Its too expensive for me to share.

Anyways back to godrej, after paying the hefty vegetable bill, I for once thought of checking it. I am not sure what conspired that, since Varshita for one is not known to behave in such an erratic manner. I learnt how extravagantly costly the babycorns were… just abt 300 bucks for 100 gms. Ouch !! The last time I checked I was still in India.

I blamed myself since I wasnt wearing my contacts, but my delhi genes werent quite ready to stay quiet and muttered to the cashier how cheap the babycorns were in Our DELHI. And was I in for a surprise. The pack read 30 bucks while I was charged 300 bucks for that pack of babycorn.

Another frantic call to my dear hubby. Subject and content of the call – “I HATE MUMBAI. PERIOD”.

I think I was most happy in school. I cared a damn. I was a total tomboy. I was a guy amongst guys and gal amongst gals. I was great at what I did, and even if I wasnt, I still felt great. Shally was my bestest friend, and here I am, havent even seen her since she got married. I cared two hoots about what others thought of me. I lived my life on my terms, the way I wanted to. The only time recently I felt those feelings again was when I left my job and went for M.Ed. It was crazy and I broke free. I was glad to have found gunjan and ritika there. I am far more glad that they are still just a call away, otherwise life would have been shitty.

samjha ke dekha
behla ke dekha
dil hai ki chain isko aata nahi…

I wish I had learnt some classical dance form when I so wanted to. I wish I hadnt yelled much at guys in the class and could still be a part of the school choir. I wish I could still look forward to the weekend with as much excitement as I did back then in school. I wish grandma was around, I miss those paranthas on chilly sunday mornings while watching chandrakanta and jungle book. I wish vinnie wasnt married and could still be around everyday to bug me despite me hating her for doing so. I wish I hadnt hurt dad so much. I wish I could listen to songs all day. I wish stars didnt play much with my life…

katra katra milti hai
katra katra jeene do
zindagi hai behne do
pyaasi hoon main
pyaasi rehne do

The wish list seems endless… I feel like the kid in the carnival, who is yet to prioritize and make up her mind about what she wants the most in that carnival of life.

tumhe ho na ho mujhko to itna yakeen hai
mujhe pyar tumse nahi hai, nahi hai
magar mene yeh raaz ab tak na jaana
ki kyon pyaari lagti hai baatein tumhari
main kyon tumse milne ka dhoondun bahana
kabhi maine chaha tumhe choo ke dekhun
kabhi maine chaha tumhe paas lana
magar phir bhi is baat ka to yakeen hai
mujhe pyar tumse nahi hai…

In the long run, teaching is the best field for ladies!!

And to top it all you dont know what you’re doing and how long this phase will last.

I was so keen to click a pic of it and post it here, but then I realised my feet werent pedicured enough

So as of now I just leave it for you to imagine what it might look like. I am blessed with such feet thanks to my genes. I exert myself and end up with feet that are blown like a balloon.

Puneet: Past is ancient history
Me: but it still haunts !

God has a strange sense of humour. He ensures that I remember the stuff I so wish to forget. I wasnt wrong afterall.

So feel like singing right now….

tere mere milan ki yeh raina
naya koi gul khilayegi
tabhi to chanchal hai tere naina
dekho na… dekho na

Why cant I just let it be?

That you chose to communicate with friends and not family when you say ” I want to take time off”?

That you are unavailable and unapproachable for a few people and very much available for others behind curtains?

That you be yourself in the company of friends and say that you arent to others?

That silence is just for a few and chit-chat for others?

That you can still be friends with people who have hurt and let you down and not with the person you have let down?

People amaze me everyday now and still I am the one who is judged !