Bored Beyond Belief !!

Yeh tumhari meri baatein hamesha yuhi chalti rahein
Yeh humari mulakatein hamesha yuhi chalti rahein
beetey yuhi apne saare din raat
baaton se nikalti rahe nayi baat
phir wahi baatein le ke geet koi hum likhen
jo dil ko, haan sab ke dil ko choo le
baatein suro mein yuhi pighalti rahein
baatein geeton mein yuhi dhalti rahein

Geeton mein har gham ko khushiyon se hum saja de
jo sune kahe woh hum se gao na
yeh tumhari meri baatein hamesha yuhi chalti rahein
yeh humari mulakaatein hamesha yuhi chalti rahein
beetey yuhi apne saare din raat
baaton se nikalti rahe nayi baat
phir wahi baatein le ke geet koi hum likhe
jo dil ko, haan sabke dil ko choo le
baatein suro mein yuhi pighalti rahein
baatein geeton mein yuhi dhalti rahein

~ Dont download the music, buy the CD.

Its been a while since I wrote anything. A lot has happened in the past couple of days. Life has changed tremendously.

Last month this time I was anxious about the uncertain future. Today, I have a somewhat certain future. Got engaged this month and am scheduled to wed the next. Strange are the ways of life. Earlier the clock was ticking. Now I feel its running, not that I am complaining.

The experience of the euphoric feeling for the past couple of days was so exhilarating that today seems quite alien to me. Today I am back to my introspection mode…

I often feel that there is more to me than what people see. I also feel that there is more to me than what I am aware of. The days I am blank are bliss. The days where I dont even get the time to sit and think how the day went by. The days when life just passes by… with the emotion overpowering me.

I just saw “Into the wild”, that pretty much explains the mood I am in right now. I feel there is a side of me that totally relates to Chris. A side of me that questions this world, its existence, the reason behind it and the sheer possibility of it being capable of being explained. These are the times I am quiet. These are the times when silence seems beautiful. These are the times when only thoughts exist. These are the times when I simply float in them. These are the times when I dont reach out for the phone to call…

The fragility of crystal is not its weakness, but its character.

Didn’t they say that I would make a mistake
Didn’t they say you were gonna be trouble
People told me you were too much to take
I couldn’t see it, I didn’t want to know

I let you in, and you let me down
You messed me up and you turned my life around
Left me feeling I had nowhere to go
I was alone how was I to know that

You would be there when I needed somebody
You would be there the only one could help

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why’d it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along

Who’d believe that after all we’ve been through
I’d be able to put my trust in you
Goes to show you can forgive and forget
Looking back I have no regrets cause

You would be there when I needed somebody
You would be there the only one could help me

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why’d it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along

You would be there when I needed somebody
You would be there the only one could help me

- OST Bean, the movie

Like a fool I went and stayed too long
Now I’m wondering if your love’s still strong
Ooh baby
Here Iam, signed, sealed delivered I’m yours

Then that time I went and said good-bye
Now I’m back and not ashamed to cry
Ooh baby
Here I am, signed, sealed delivered
I’m yours

Here I am baby
Oh, you’ve got the future in your hand
(Signed, sealed delivered, I’m yours)
I’ve done a lot of foolish things
That I really didn’t mean
Hey, hey, yea, yea, didn’t I, oh baby

Seen a lot of things in this old world
When I touched them they did nothing, girl
Ooh baby
Here I am, signed sealed delivered
I’m yours, oh I’m yours

Oo-wee babe you set my soul on fire
That’s why I know you are my only desire
Ooh baby
Here I am, signed, sealed delivered
I’m yours

Here I am baby
Oh, you’ve got the future in your hand
(Signed, sealed delivered, I’m yours)
Here I am baby
Oh, you’ve got the future in your hand
(Signed, sealed delivered, I’m yours)
I’ve done a lot of foolish things
That I really didn’t mean
I could be a broken man but here I am

With your future, got your future babe
(Here I am baby)
Here I am baby
(Signed, sealed delivered, I’m yours)

-By Stevie Wonder from OST You’ve Got Mail

Kabhi to kuch aisa hi hua tha
neend mein thi jab tumne chua tha
girte girte baahon mein bachhi main
sapne par paon pad gaya tha
sapno mein behne do
pyaasi hoon mein pyaasi rehne do na

tumne to akash bichaya
mere nange pairon mein zameen hai
kaante bhi tumhari arzoo hai
shayad aise zindagi haseen hai
arzoo mein behne do
pyaasi hoon mein pyaasi rehne do na

halke halke kohre ke dhuyein mein
shayad asmaan tak aa gayi hoon
teri sooni baahon ke sahare
dekho to kaha tak aa gayi hoon
kohre mein behne do
pyaasi hon mein pyaasi rehne do

katra katra milti hai
katra katra jeene do
zindagi hai behne do
pyaasi hoon main
pyaasi rehne do

Aaj shab jo chand ne hai roothne ki thaan li
gardishon mein hai sitaare baat humne maan li
andheri syah zindagi ko soojhti nahi gali
ki aaj haath thaam lo ek haath ki kami khali
kyon khoye khoye chand ki firaak mein
talaash mein udaas hai dil
kyon apne aap se khafa khafa
zara zara sa naraaz hai yeh dil
yeh manzile bhi khud hi tey kare
yeh faasle bhi khud hi tey kare
kyon to raaston mein phir seham seham
sambhal sambhal ke chalta hai yeh dil
kyon khoye khoye chand ki firaak mein
talaash mein udaas hai dil

zindagi sawaalon ke jawaab dhundne chali
jawaab mein sawaalon ki ek lambi si ladi mili
sawaal hi sawaal hai soojhti nahi gali
ki aaj haath thaam lo ek haath ki kami khali
jee mein aata hai murda sitaare noch lun
idhar bhi noch lun udhar bhi noch lun
ek do ka zikar kya main taare noch lun
sitaare noch lun main saare noch lun
kyon tu aaj itna vehashi hai
mizaaj mein majaaz hai aye gham-e-dil
kyon apne aap se khafa khafa
zara zara sa naraaz hai yeh dil
yeh manzile bhi khud hi tey kare
yeh faasle bhi khud hi tey kare
kyon to raaston mein phir seham seham
sambhal sambhal ke chalta hai yeh dil
kyon khoye khoye chand ki firaak mein
talaash mein udaas hai dil

dil ko samjhaana keh do kya asaan hai
dil to fitrat se sun lo na be-imaan hai
yeh khush nahi hai jo mila bas mangta hi hai chala
jaanta hai har lagi ka dard hi hai bas ek sila
jab kabhi yeh dil laga dard hi hume mila
dil ki har lagi ka sunlo dard hi hai ek sila
kyon naye naye se dard ki firaak mein
talaash mein udaas hai dil
kyon apne aap se khafa khafa
zara zara sa naraaz hai yeh dil
yeh manzile bhi khud hi tey kare
yeh faasle bhi khud hi tey kare
kyon to raaston mein phir seham seham
sambhal sambhal ke chalta hai yeh dil
kyon khoye khoye chand ki firaak mein
talaash mein udaas hai dil

Laaga chunari mein daag title track is on repeat mode since I returned from the movie. I took a liking for this very different yet strong song sung by Shubha Mudgal with Mita Vashisht reciting pure hindi verses in the background that very moment. Awesome I must say, if you havent had the chance to hear it. This is one song that I havent heard on radio and I dunno why they prefer to play “hum to aise hai bhaiya” or ” kachchi kaliyan mat todo” over this title track which is a soul stirring number.

I dont know what is it about this song but I quite like it. I guess it is the subtle mix of helplessness and the strong streak of a willingness to face it all.

And Vinnie is quite right. All my past posts for a while are a sign of my weakness. And if thats the case, I make the beginning today to get out of that mode.

Jaage hain der tak humein kuch der sone do
thodi si raat aur hai subah to hone do
aadhe adhure khwaab jo poore na ho sake
ek baar phir se neend mein woh khwaab bone do

Manwa mein meri aandhi hai uthi
par stabhdh khadi hun main
sanson mein baandh apni hi saans
nishabd khadi hoon main
duniya se jeet jeeti khud se haar
bas dhwast khadi hun main
aaina main aur aks main
madhmast khadi hun main

Laaga chunari mein daag chupaoon kaise
laaga chunari mein daag
chunari mein daag chupaoon kaise
ghar ja-oon kaise
laaga chunari mein daag

Cham cham cham cham cham jhan jhawaat
antar mein goonje diwas raat
ek shoonya shoonya tapti vishal
maaya ka madhyam mantra jaal
mann ki dasha se ladti main phirti
vishwast khadi hoon main
meri laaj main hoon,
chunar bhi main hoon,
chunar pe daag bhi main

ho gayi maili mori chunariya
kore badan si kori chunariya
jaake babul se nazre mila-oon kaise
ghar ja-oon kaise
laaga chunari mein daag
chupaoon kaise
laaga chunari mein daag chupaoon kaise

main dhwast dhwast main nasht bhasm
main saral virral main ati vishisht
hain shyam shwet badal mere
nirjhar si jhari hoon main
andhiyari raat deepak ki baati
swapnil si khadi hoon main
kanchan ki kaya apna hi saaya
bas unse darri hoon main
lakdi main geeli thodi seeli seeli
thak thak ke jali hoon main
main maaya maaya
main chhaaya chhaya
aatma aur kaaya main
nistabdh khadi hoon main
nishabd khadi hoon main
vishwast khadi hoon main
sarvadra khadi hoon main

I was so upset the last time I wrote a proper post that I had actually taken a sort of vow to not write for a while as I felt so disgusted by the whole issue.

Anyways…the point being, whenever I am down and out, I do well. How ironic! I perform best under pressure, I do double the work when I am angry and I am open to new things when I shut myself. And ever since I got this new PC there have been great learnings instore for me every week. Things that I so wanted to do but was scared and even skeptical at times to take it up.

So for another technical update, I have started using torrents !
Torrents are, must say, brilliant stuff. Seen seven movies in ten days. One in hall, 6 on computer after downloading them through torrents. And another one is on its way of downloading.

The movies I saw :
Before sunrise
Before sunset
Requim for a dream
The departed
Little Miss Sunshine
Love actually
Heyy babyy (Hall)

“Memento” is the one which is downloading right now.

I have also started helping people on Yahoo answers. And I already have 24 of my answers being chosen as Best answers in less than a weeks time !

Updates on personal front: Amazed at the strict financial control I am able to exercise on myself, making truce with myself, trying to forgive n seek forgiveness, cant believe I am gymming regularly and still in search for ways to keep my boredom at bay.

Like I once told this friend of mine while describing myself

I am one hyperactive kid

Memories are a wonderful thing, if you dont have to deal with the past.

Awesome dialogue from the movie Before Sunset (Sequel of Before Sunrise).