Its so damn strange

Posted on July 31, 2007 by Varshita

Just when I thought nobody could have a life worse than me, nobody could possibly be bearing the pain that I was going through, I meet this stranger. Well he is supposed to be my cousins cousin. So its neither a far off relative, nor a pretty close one. So I prefer to refer him here as a stranger first, cos thats what he was when I met him on Friday.

In a span of 2 days he has left me speechless. I was told he doesnt talk, doesnt smile, doesnt do any of the stuff that normal people do and there he was finding solace in his conversations with me. I find it strange cos its funny that we always tend to feel that our problems are the biggest and the worst. But when I even try and imagine what munna must be going through, I fail to do so. Thats cos I just cant imagine that! He talked, he shared, he laughed, he cried (twice)… he shared all that he possibly could.

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New kiddoes in my block

Posted on July 24, 2007 by Varshita

The last two months saw my craving for sugar going down drastically for reasons quite unknown to me as yet. But that really doesnt mean that I like doing away with my favourite cookies.

In the past couple of years, I have taken a fascination for Choco-chip and butter-chip cookies from Cookieman. And despite its retail outlet being available in Delhi suburbs, I prefer to order them straight from Bangalore, yes, cos vinnie gets hyper each time I ask her to get some for me, as its on the farthest end of the city she prefers to live in now. I like to tease her to deal with it as a payback for the numerous chores she expects me to do (each time anyones visiting her) in a span of 2-3 days from one corner of the city to the other while keeping my sanity intact zillion number of times!!

Now the point being, I had this huge box of these cookies which I got in mid-june and another set of assorted cookies end-june. I know you still must be wondering the reason for specifying the time. Well if you have been with me, you would remember me talking about my sugar craving going down, which basically means I have not been eating much of these cookies. And I was shocked today to find just one single, yes one and only one cookie remaining. You still wondering? How could you forget the other two kiddoes at my place besides me (Just a polite reminder that I am the YOUNGEST!!) who we fondly call MOM AND DAD.

Let it be…

Posted on July 22, 2007 by Varshita

yuhi ankhon mein aa gaye aansu
jaiye aap koi baat nahi…

Ya rabba…

Posted on July 21, 2007 by Varshita

Pyar hai ya saza aye mere dil bata
toot-ta kyon nahi dard ka silsila
is pyar mein ho kaise kaise imtehaan
yeh pyar likhe kaisi kaisi dastaan
ya rabba de de koi jaan bhi agar
dilbar pe ho na koi asar

kaisa hai safar wafa ki manzil ka
na hai koi hal dilon ki mushkil ka
dhadkan dhadkan utri ranjishein
sansein sansein tooti bandishein
kahi to har lamha hothon pe fariyaad hai
kisi ki duniya chahat mein barbaad hai
ya rabba de de koi jaan bhi agar
dilbar pe ho na koi asar

koi na sune sisakti aahon ko
koi na dhare in tadapti baahon ko
aadhi aadhi poori khwahishein
tooti phooti sab farmaishein
kahi shak hai to kahi nafrat ki deewar hai
kahi jeet mein bhi shaamil pal pal haar hai
ya rabba de de koi jaan bhi agar
dilbar pe ho na koi asar

I thought…

Posted on July 13, 2007 by Varshita

You had a conscience and a heart.

You proved me wrong !

I wasnt wrong afterall

Posted on July 12, 2007 by Varshita

Its been a month today. And yet there are no voices.

I wrote this last year… so I guess I wasnt wrong afterall.

Clear conscience??

Posted on July 11, 2007 by Varshita

Dad says you can lie to the world, but not to your own self.

When you would sit alone, all by yourself, thats when your conscience will speak to you. Thats when you cant lie, cant hide, cant fake.

The question really is whether you can live with it for the rest of your life?

Sad…

Posted on July 10, 2007 by Varshita

Its 2.45 am and I am unable to find a trace of sleep. And once I do find that, I will start worrying about the dreams that it would bring. Probably the reason its still nowhere to be seen.

But to a person who could sleep for hours and loved to dream. huh.. I can only muster the courage to smile and shrug off my shoulders. Destiny !

Sad… truly sad.

Long ago

Posted on July 9, 2007 by Varshita

i m tired
tired of fighting it out
the more i want peace
the more i dont get it
the more i try n be good
the more i m ill treated
the more faith i show
the more failures i see

I wrote this long ago… last year. I wasnt wrong afterall.

Tackling fear

Posted on July 9, 2007 by Varshita

The only thing we have to fear is fear it’self – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

I truly believe that.

I remember when I was a child, I had this huge fear of darkness. I couldnt go in the darkness. So much so that I would go and knock on my parents bedroom door and ask for my mom to go and switch on the bathroom light so that I would be able to use it. I know many of you can think of how badly pampered I was, but no, it was all about fear.